"I got dreams of holding a 9mm to bob's killer, asking him why as my eyes fill up. These days I can't wake up with a dry pillow, gone but not forgotten homes I still feel ya. So, curse the day that birth the bastard who caused your church mass...reverse the crash, reverse the blast, & reverse the car, reverse the day and there you are, bob allah. Lord forgive him, we all have sinned but bob's a good dude please let him in..." - Jay-Z

'nuff said.

one for one.

1+1

RUMBLE young girl, RUMBLE.

untitled.

Truthfully speaking relationships are a chore. Having to live your life with someone else is difficult. Consideration, respect, attention, compromise, understanding are easier written than done in a companionship. Its very easy to lose yourself and become self-less when you constantly put another person first. We must always remember that if I can't be happy, I cannot make anyone else happy and happiness starts within. A lot of people do not understand this and want to force a relationship for the sake of a picture, or the title. But a picture is only a picture and a title doesn't matter if their isn't depth to the story. We must have depth and identity of ourselves so we know what we are not and what is not acceptable.

Just thinking and writting.

logic VS emotion.

I always knew I was a logical thinker...but lately I see it more and more as I get older. I am convinced that I have a Type A personality so I have to deal with it.
I care more about work than my social life and I'd rather have a successful career than the "soccer mom" life. I have a very black and white answer to almost every question and am CONSTANTLY looking over my goals in my head. "when am i gonna finish this..what do i have to do to get here..no that's not enough time..i have to do this to get this..." talk about STRESS. this works perfect because I don't like being in want or need for anything.

This is not to say that i'm an emotion-less freak, I just am wired to think with my mind vs heart.

i know that it's wrong. i do, i do.

a friend once told me...

"There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

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year number three.

So yesterday was me and my hunny's "three year anniversary". The reason why I put it in quotations is because although it's a great accomplishment we don't count the hours, days, weeks, months and years that we've been together. We just figured we might as well. So that possibly is not an accurate date, but we don't care. :-)

He has really showed me the dimensions I didn't know I had, and the possible connection two people can have. the word connection is a complete under statement. There are days when I just look at him and become overwhelmed with happiness that I can never explain. It amazes me how another being can make me feel more complete. A lot of people did not really believe i was in a relationship at first, because I definitely was/am not desperate to be in love...that is until I fell in love with Anthony.

Our story is not perfect, for we are human and when it's "real" it's not perfect. We definitely have had our downs but we always seem to bring it together and avoid permanent damage.

We were lying down in bed and he began to ask me all sorts of questions regarding when we first met. He asked me when did I know I had fallen in love. My response: "The first time I cried because of you, I knew I was in trouble, because I never cry in front of people." I asked him when he knew he was in love with me. His response: "On our date to Dave and Busters" (second one). He said: "That night I kept winning in every single game, I won you a bear, I kept winning. And I NEVER win at anything. That's how I knew you were special." <3

i love you!