i know that it's wrong. i do, i do.

a friend once told me...

"There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

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year number three.

So yesterday was me and my hunny's "three year anniversary". The reason why I put it in quotations is because although it's a great accomplishment we don't count the hours, days, weeks, months and years that we've been together. We just figured we might as well. So that possibly is not an accurate date, but we don't care. :-)

He has really showed me the dimensions I didn't know I had, and the possible connection two people can have. the word connection is a complete under statement. There are days when I just look at him and become overwhelmed with happiness that I can never explain. It amazes me how another being can make me feel more complete. A lot of people did not really believe i was in a relationship at first, because I definitely was/am not desperate to be in love...that is until I fell in love with Anthony.

Our story is not perfect, for we are human and when it's "real" it's not perfect. We definitely have had our downs but we always seem to bring it together and avoid permanent damage.

We were lying down in bed and he began to ask me all sorts of questions regarding when we first met. He asked me when did I know I had fallen in love. My response: "The first time I cried because of you, I knew I was in trouble, because I never cry in front of people." I asked him when he knew he was in love with me. His response: "On our date to Dave and Busters" (second one). He said: "That night I kept winning in every single game, I won you a bear, I kept winning. And I NEVER win at anything. That's how I knew you were special." <3

i love you!

Exhale.

I have always been a kinda humble person. Maybe because I don't like too much attention but mainly because I count my blessings. Today I got beside myself and did just that. It's an overwhelming feeling when we can stop for a second in a peaceful state and realize our beautiful surroundings. I mean really take it all in.

This morning I went for a long run at the trails and it was so beautiful and peaceful. Six-thirty in the morning, just got off of work and I felt like I could run for days. It was still dark out and the air was chilly. After jogging for two miles, I walked to a piece of concrete close to the pond and just stood there watching all of God's amazing creations. The grass, the trees, the birds, turtles, the water, the air, the sun. nature. I began to think about my blessings and became overwhelmed with emotion. Emotion from success, drive, opportunities, blessings, my life, everything. In this chaotic world where we deal with so much negativity, malice and irresponsibility there is also beauty. We have to every so often stop and exhale. And this morning I did. It felt great.

Takers.

Last night me and my main squeeze watched Takers at Silverado. The movie is okay, I guess. This, my friend, is an ode to the fine ass men who were in it. My favorite is the beautiful, Idris Elba. I absolutely love him. He is Sexy, with a capital 'S'. There is an amazing scene where he is getting out of his bed in some black briefs, omigod, the ladies screamed on that shot. x-)

Anywho, here are some shots from the okay movie with sexy men. BTW, I absolutely love the threads they wore.

Wise Words.

“Love,” said Phaedrus, “is the oldest of the gods, and one of the most powerful. It is that principle which turns ordinary young people into heroes. For the lover is ashamed to act the coward in the presence of his beloved. Give me an army made up of lovers, and I can conquer the world.”

— Living Biographies of Great Philosophers, by Henry Thomas & Dana Lee Thomas

Lord, I ask for courage ~

Courage to face and conquer my own fears ...
Courage to take me where others will not go ...

I ask for strength ~
Strength of body to protect others,
and strength of spirit to lead others ...

I ask for dedication ~
Dedication to my job, to do it well,
Dedication to my community, to keep it safe ...
Give me, Lord, concern for those who trust me,
and compassion for those who need me ...
And please, Lord, through it all,
be at my side .

She tied her hair up, in a tight bun,
As her husband whispers, "Be Careful hon",
Gun in her holster, bulletproof vest on,
with a kiss to her husband, she was gone.

She enters the station, big smile on her face,
She moves with such ease, so full of grace.
Her colleagues admired her, for she's nice and smart,
Uniform and badge, she plays the part.

For she is a wife, mother, and a cop,
Who earned her place, at the very top
she is one in a million, from all the rest,
tough and fair, the very best.

She has seen some things, we dread to see,
she does her job, to protect you and me,
She's been kicked at, spat on, cracked a rib or two,
she shakes it all off, to protect me and you.

There are times, where her life comes close to an end,
But thanks to the help, of her brave cop friends.
She does a job, that a few would dare do,
She does her job proudly, with a smile too.

And when she comes home, at the end of her shift,
Kids in her arms, as her husband gives her a kiss,
She knows she made it through, another long day,
For tomorrow might be different, so she just prays

Wise Words.

"But I didn't understand then. That I could hurt somebody so badly she would never recover. That a person can, just by living, damage another human being beyond repair."
— Haruki Murakami